Tourists and the Profiteers Who Love Them

Tourists

Spurred by lucrative kickback schemes for interplanetary travel agents, the Sphere of the Holy Mountain has become one of the more popular tourist destinations in recent years. Few find the vacation exactly what they imagined, but their experience is invariably difficult to forget.

1. An adventurer squandered all their wealth and vitality in the search of the Holy Mountain. Roll d66 on the Troika! background table, and choose one possession as their last remaining item. The poor soul will sell or pawn the object for cheap, dearly needing food and a ticket home (stats as Profiteer, Mien of Tourist).
2. A pickpocket's wet dream obliviously gawks at landmarks while a bulging purse hangs at his waist.
3. A space hipster who's ironically visiting this tourist trap of a sphere to soak in the camp and nasally complain about its inanity.
4. A troop of big game hunters seeks to kill at least one of everything on the sphere (stats as Profiteer, Mien of Tourist, Armour 0, damage as Fusil).
5. A gaggle of young school children from the academy of the Cordial Wizard God wearing adorable wizardly uniforms are herded by an ill-prepared and increasingly distressed chaperone. If threatened or prankishly inclined, the children start casting random spells.
6. A Squad of Chaos Knights, sold on the idea of crusading on the sphere, find there's little they can do to raise its chaotic magnitudes but try anyway (stats as Profiteer, Mien of Tourist, Armour 2, damage as Maul).

Profiteers

The Sphere of the Holy Mountain is full of exclusive deals proffered in hushed and confidential tones.

1. A troop of charlatans who emulate a true order of mystics, and scam aspiring followers. Roll on the Mystics table to see which group they impersonate.
2. Census takers corral new arrivals and question them in an attempt to come to grips with the local population. They are secretly a marketing group collecting data to target ads demographic targeting.
3. A company of miracle prospectors scours the sphere for holy relics and mystical phenomena.
4. A snake oil wholesaler attempts to offload their stock to enterprising entrepreneurs, and offers a tantalizing recruitment scheme for introducing other salesmen to the system.
5. Con-folk precariously balance jugs of soured wine and veer into likely marks. Once shattered, their owners claim the vessels once contained product of the finest vintage and demand outrageous sums in payment.
6. Psychic Hygienists in spotless purple and white jumpsuits extol the benefits of practical minimalism and fashionable asceticism. These seers visit your home or evaluate your unloaded pack to divine the future of each of your possessions. They "dispose" of each item they foresee you never using again, to relieve you of unnecessary burdens. Many clients are surprised that some of their most valuable possessions will be entirely useless to their future selves.

Stats

Tourist

Skill 4

Stamina 6

Initiative 1

Armour 0

Damage as Knife

Mien

1. Confused
2. Awestruck
3. Overconfident
4. Homesick
5. Curious
6. Rude

Profiteer

Skill 7

Stamina 8

Initiative 2

Armour 1

Damage as Weapon

Mien

1. Vigilant
2. Desperate
3. Imperious
4. Patronizing
5. Remorseful
6. Fawning